From Deb

The last post was Becca's idea b/c she is so bored and miserable. I'm sitting next to right now in the dark b/c she's trying not to throw up. My mom left me in charge for awhile tonight b/c she needed to do some "shopping" (really she just needed a break from playing nurse maid). For the past couple of days Becca has been catching up on her movies. She recommends "Ladder 49", but not "Melinda Melinda" and apparently Adam Sandler is only in bizarre movies.

She asked me to relay the story of her crazy nurse. Apparently this women tried to get into a detailed conversation with her about Corgis and showing them. She actually whipped pictures out of the wallet to share. O, and she's pissed b/c mom was eating in front of her right before she went into surgery (we all know how becca has to eat all the time). I guess this just goes to show she's been cooped up in here for too long already, bc this all happened 2 days ago. You know whats weirdest, I think this tonsil surgery has somehow caused her bladder to become the size of an 80 year-old woman.

By the way, she wants to thank everyone for the cards and gifts. They made her laugh (and me as well). Ashley, I think you've redeemed yourself now.

Exciting Story of the Day

yellow feet syndrome

so as previously noted on deb's website, i have developed a new physical condition where my feet go numb and turn yellow after stepping outside in the cold for a few minutes. and by yellow i mean highlighter yellow. i went to the dr down here about it and apparently i have poor blood circulation (really get out!!!) and probably have a condition calle rheinoids syndrome or some crap i cant remember i wish i did cuz i would definitely be looking it up on google and emailing it to the whole world. apparently my feet are turning yellow b/c when it gets cold, all the blood leaves so all the color goes with it. and yellow is apparently the color of callouses without blood (people's hands get white unless they have calluses). the dr told me the condition gets worse with age and i probably have a HUGE sensitivity to cold weather. that's right, deb: all those years i said i felt i was getting frostbite while skiing, i was actually not overexaggerating. apparently i can still go out in the cold i just need to go inside if i feel like my feet start to shake after they go numb (as this is the second level of frostbite). apparently yellow feet is the first level. o yeah, and i should add i told him about gma perry's swollen feet and ankles and he said i was probably going to have that problem when i got older. AWESOME!

Happy Birthday Deborah Joan!!

The phone-napping

so lately ashley has been a huge asshole about everything (or maybe that's always), and he won't try to fix our router even tho he claims he knows how. so today i'd had enough (after he shot me in the leg with those stupid pellet guns of theirs). i stole his jump drive, phone, and one of the guns and held them for ransom until he'd fix the router. janell and i had a little too much fun with this i suppose, especially considering it is the middle of finals week and we spent two hours fucking with the guys. i cut out words from the newspaper and made a ransom note that janell delivered to their apt. then we took a pic of the cell phone with a band aid on it and me with a stocking cap and sunglasses pointing a gun at it. we text messaged this pic to seth and luke's phones with the message: are you ready to negotiate. then luke called us and janell and i spoke together (her in a high pitch voice-i in a low slow voice imitating the kidnappers in movies) that we would not give up the phoen until he came over. then seth and luke came to the apt pretending to set up the router. i thought the trick was ashley was in the bushes with the other gun, but when i realized he wasn't out there, we let them in. of course it was a trick, and ashley was back at their apt calling his phone. seth grabbed and restrained us while luke searched for the phone and ran out the back door with it. best part is the phone was in my book bag with my phone, so they claim they wrote down andy's number and are going to call him and say something bitchy if i try to get them back. i think this is a bluff but i did tell ashley that i wrote down his mom's number from his phone and would call her if he didn't stop misbehaving. of course i woldnt do this, but it may have provided them with the idea of writing down andy's number. eventually they did give me my crap back, but seth and ashley also egged our apt door, my car, and even put peanut butter on the door handle. fortunately luke was nice enough to let me know about it before i actually had to drive anywhere. im pretty pissed about the car but i doubt i'll do anything about it b/c they're jsut going to do more shit back to me. and ashley did come over afterwards to look at our router, but it's still not working.

and you thought i was a hypochrondriac

"what are the warning signs for a stroke?"
-janel

drunk dialing

well last nite i didn't go out at all because i had the great idea i was going to do hmwk/study for finals. whats new: it didnt freaking happen. and i find myself typing on blogspot at 9:05 when i have a final at 7:50 in the morning tomorrow which i havent started studying for and i have a paragraph written in a five page paper also due tomorrow. i wasn't expecting to get it all done yesterday so i think that's my excuse for being where i am right now. i was just trying not be incredibly hungover today, but i think i drank so much on fri im still a little off. on a more interesting note, i think i've revived my interest in drunk dialing, which i havent really done since freshman year. it all started with me accidentally calling deb's work (she can tell that story if she feels like it i dont really want to right now) and then i called a bunch of people who lived on my floor last year and ended up scheduling a reunion for this past fri. so i think i've taken drunk dialing to a whole new level. hung out with everybody again-was very nice. then i came home and drunk dialed the poeple i usually hang out with. i cant really say what the interest is. i guess im doing it again b/c lately no one's been around when i've come home and im not ready to go to bed. but maybe that will change since our new roommate just moved in. i think she'll be pretty cool in the long run. tomorrow's the last day for our ad in the paper and we've only had one person come by to look at the apt and she seemed a little odd, but hopefully something will work out. deb: ur bday card may be coming a day or so late. im sorry i was too hungover on sat to care to walk over to the mail bin.

he's just that damn good

so just out of boredom today i clicked on my profile and the movies that i like i clicked on "anything with denzel" and believe it or not there were at least two pages of other bloggers who had listed this. i think that is crazy, considering that's not even a movie and that many people listed the exact phrase. i guess denzel's just that good of an actor...and that damn good looking.

ASSHOLES, i will get u back

so brief run thru of today's news: about a week ago ash shined a laser pointer into luke's eyes and luke's eyesight has gotten worse since then, and i dont think it even has anything to do with the laser pointer i think he has some eye infection or some shit but they have all been carrying on about it since it happened. and of course they lie 24/7 so i never really believed luke but he's been carrying on for so long eventually i halfway believed him. today he told me that he was going to have to get eye surgery possibly and asked if he should sue ashley. to which i said i guess if he can't fly anymore he might want to talk to one of the school's lawyers. here's part of a long conversation we had on aim today about it:
lnovis4: then why did ashley tell me i was gullible yesterday when u said thatOpolskie16: well i might need surgery Opolskie16: we just going to have to wait and seeOpolskie16: should i sue ashely for it lnovis4: i thought ur eyes only got a little worselnovis4: what would the surgery be forlnovis4: and yes if it came down to being that serious i probably would sue himOpolskie16: i dont know the doc said i might go blind if i dont do itlnovis4: ru kidding me

lnovis4: y should u have to pay for the surgeryOpolskie16: yeah i know rightlnovis4: just b/c ur friends doesn't mean he can shine a laser pointer in ur eye and permanently ruin ur sight

Opolskie16: yeah but he said he wont pay shitOpolskie16: you better talk to him about itOpolskie16: cause now he is denying the whole thingOpolskie16: yeah its a fucked up situation Opolskie16: you should come here and talk to him about itlnovis4: right nowOpolskie16: yeah if u canlnovis4: ok i'll be over in a little bitOpolskie16: thank you lnovis4: this better not be some huge prank on me thoOpolskie16: hey if you dont want to help me u dont have to

so again i fall for their stupid ass pranks-altho i must say i still didn't believe it all until i talked to luke for a half hour-he's the only person i ever believe in that house and i never knew he was so capable of acting. i even fucking wrote a list of questions for him to ask the doctor his next visit (which they are going to supposedly frame) and started almost crying when i was yelling at ashley. i can't believe anyone would go to such lengths to make somebody upset not to mention now they're calling ME a bitch for saying i'd sue ashley and believing he wouldn't pay. whatever. i will now officially NEVER BELIEVE anything they ever say. hopefully none of them will ever end up arrested cuz if i get a phone call at 3 am asking me to bail them out i'm going to hang up.

making friends with a stripper

idk y but last nite when the guys suggested that i go to the strip club, it sounded like a funtastic idea. (and i wasn't even all that inebriated). the sad part is i probably drank about 3 beers and was pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to want to go to the strip club. you all know how i have eating problems and even though i had eaten spaghetti, a turkey sandwich, and a bowl of cereal after fixing a salad and after eating at the dining hall, my stomach was still empty. so i think that was why the alcohol affected me. too bad the strip club took my beer b/c i was under otherwise i would have had a good cheap buzz all nite. so anyway keith drove us and picked us up (how sweet) from jb's. i must say i have never been to a strip club like it before. the vu is sooo much more tasteful to say the least. it was a pretty good time, though, even for me being the only girl in the group. seth became friends with this group of people next to us-they were even buying him shots and giving him dollar bills to take up to the strippers. they gave me a dollar bill but didnt offer me another once i told the stripper she couldn't lift up my shirt and lick my boobs. (damn, im upset). the guys gave me a lot of shit for this, but by then i was feeling pretty sober not to mention that there was a creepy asian kid who had come to the place by himself that was staring at me and talking to me about weird things the whole nite. he wouldn't stop staring at me even psycho style even after i told him aaron was my b/f but maybe that was a bad idea considering aaron is also asian and he probably thought "hey she likes the asians". later luke told the guy that i was his g/f and he had to put his arm around me for several mins so he would leave me alone. one would have thought it would have ended there, but then when i went to the bathroom creepo followed me so luke got up and waited for me to get out. FUCKING SCARY! but aside from that, it was a pretty good nite. we even made friends with this stripper who gave us our dollar bills back saying we had to have a little fun. she was actually pretty cute, was a college student, and seemed pretty normal. she even gave me a wad of 3 or 4 bucks to give to one of her fellow strippers when she was dancing in the cage and talked luke out of getting a lap dance cuz she said she had a b/f and it wouldn't be very good. when we got up to leave for the nite she hugged all of us (when she was wearing clothes-or at least some clothes u know we were in a strip club) and said it was nice to meet such good people. then of course we had to say goodbye to seth's new dear friends. all in all, an interesting nite.

check out deb's site

deb recently posted two items found in an overseas catalog on her blog: a mopping outfit for ur baby to wear while crawling and a fake person to cuddle with while sleeping. maybe keith needs this so he has somebody to force spoon all the time. anyway u should check it out pretty damn hilarious

to deb: u can relax nobody reads this but a few close friends and even then, not all the time. nobody's going to be interested in reading ur blog all the time if they dont even post on mine.

observations i made over thanksgiving

-it's hilarious to ask somebody to put food in a ziploc bag for u

-getting knocked up seems to be the only way to make a relationship more serious if ur dating somebody over 30

-burning leaves in the street (when u have a large yard) is an acceptable activity

-americans are probably the only people who make mock decorations of the food they eat (my little cousin brody made a glitter turkey in pre-k). i suggest why dont we take this to a whole new level and make decorations of all the animals we eat. and post a picture of a glittery cow, for example, on the refrigerator when we're having hamburger. better yet, let's make a holiday out of it.

-this observation was actually just made but why does a hamburger have the word "ham" in it if it's actually or supposed to be beef

-deborah's turkey napkin holder she made in wood shop has been mia for several years. i'd be bitching if i were her

-against my previous beliefs, it might actually be nice to have a guy take care of u especially if he has knowledge of cars, pushes shopping carts at the grocery store, and is a computer genius

-u can get work done at the doctors to see if u have the alzheimers and breast cancer genes

-a pre nup is never acceptable to sign

-mom still forgets what her children like to eat. she asked me if i wanted ham one nite for dinner and didn't make deb stuffing w/ turkey.

-i need to go on a diabetic diet

-age does not matter, we're talking decades of difference +, in dating once u hit about 23 (of course each person still acts their age inevitably)

-starbucks is a great place to court somebody

-all gay people do x

-i've gotten so used to doing dishes and cooking for myself it comes naturally for me to do it at home when i dont have to

-i might as well wait until two hours before an assignment is due to start worrying about it b/c im never going to do it before then anyway and a lot of fun gets lost in procrastination

-both sides of my family are insane and i greatly look forward to next christmas. it's like watching a movie and getting presents at the same time.

this is insane-a giant nuclear watertoy

u have to read the description of this thing. "do a jesus and walk on water"---ru kidding me?
p.s. not getting much hmwk done so far.

For my loyal audience of two whole people

hillary-i guess i haven't been posting anything recently b/c nothing really all that interesting has happened. but, i guess i have a good story on last nite. im friends wiht one of the rugby players and last nite they had a party where everyone who wore a canadian tuxedo got $3 off a cup (really everybody who doesn't wear one has to pay $7 for a cup so it's not really a deal). for those of u who don't know, a canadian tuxedo is denim on denim. flannel can be combined. i showed up an hour before the party started to take advantage of the keg (which must be about the brightest idea for someone who doesnt weigh 100 lbs). needless to say within an hour and a half i was WASTED and by 11:30 at night i was walked home by one of my friends. i did stay long enough, however, to see my friends' coffee table get broken in half and then karate chopped into about 70 or 80 pieces (so i guess i wasnt the only person who was wasted). i feel it is important to mention that i was walked home from the party, which was at another apartment at the apartment complex that i live. the walk should have taken about 3 minutes. instead i think it took about 10 b/c i couldnt walk a straight line, and sad as it is my friend worried i wouldnt be able to make it home safely alone. he was probably right. from there, my memories are slightly fuzzy. janell told me that i threw my keys in the air and they went behind the couch. then i started doing dance/iceskating axels in a karate style fashion kicking my friend mike in the chest (dont know any other way of describing it). from there i had to make a few trips to the bathroom, puking up my night's remains. mike tucked me in on a bed he fashioned for me on my bedroom floor (a few blankets and a pillow). the night would have ended there, except ashely and luke randomly came over. eventually i guess i came down some of the stairs and started spitting on them. i came into the kitchen and continued hacking lugees on the carpet. then somebody gave me a cup and i started spitting in it. i guess i tried to make cream of wheat, but nobody would let me use the burners and this morning i found little grains all over the kitchen floor. then (as i am told) i spit all over ashley and kicked both him and luke out of the house. i chased them outside wearing hardly any clothes for the weather and started punching them. janell put me to bed and placed a bucket beside me (which i had to use a few times during the night). this morning i miraculously made it to my 9:00 class. i talked to luke today and apologized for hitting him and was told that apparently ashley is pissed and says im not allowed at their apt anymore. if i really did spit on him i can understand why he's angry, however talking to everyone today apparently the whole thing was pretty comical. in fact i think i kicked them out b/c they were laughing at me and it pissed me off.

do my hmwk for me

i have to write a paper on the history of a word, any word. what word should i choose? i need suggestions

an interesting article to read

i kinda skimmed over the first part but it gets interesting towards the bottom. o yeah and looks like i will graduate fall 2007 if the teacher education program makes an exception for me (which i wont know for sure until march). apparently i was supposed to take some basick skills test.

take my quiz

i know nobody reads this website anymore or that often anyway but i made the quiz on my aim profile too cuz i had nothing better to do. also today i showed the apt to this girl who's an r.a. over at thompson point and she seemed really interested in moving in in december. she seems pretty cool, not anybody i'd probably hang out with but nice. so take my quiz mmm hmm

quote of the day

"i like so many colors it's hard for me to choose, so i used to say my favorite color was rainbow. when i was younger it was jungle green. now my favorite color is umm...macaroni and cheese. (reacting to my reaction) No, Becca, you don't understand. That's a color in the crayola box. My next fav color is autumn."-Janell

apparently autumn is a color now

i fell off a motorcycle today and got my leg stuck in the wheel

it fell on its side. not to worry tho, the bike was only going about 2 mph when it fell. i got kinda traumatized. my leg was in the wheel and it was still turning-if we'd been going 50 or s/t im sure i would have lost my leg, so as u can imagine i was a little scared. but the only reason why it fell over was b/c of where we were driving it. me and keith rode to the orchards today and decided it would be a good idea to eat some leftover apples and then drive between the trees on his bike. we tried going up hill in a field with a bunch of rotten apples on the ground, and it didn't work so well. i guess u live and u learn. it was a good time tho. and i found an excellent golden delicious on top of everything. tell me, what more could u ask for?

the weekend

you know i really can't talk much about friday, as i made a drunken fool out of myself. those stories are for only a few sets of ears. needless to say, sat i was extremely hungover all day and ecstatic at the idea of going to a haunted house over partying. me, ashley, seth, luke, and porcia who was visting for weekend, piled in a car and rode to paducah to talon falls. (link posted above). we did not make it to both the haunted city and the haunted house b/c keith and his friends decided five mins before we left that they wanted to go (and hold us up) so we didn't have time. soemtimes he really annoys me, but what r u gonna do? the important thing is we still had a good time. porcia and i were very scared. ashley held me the entire time. and in the beginning luke was doing the same thing to seth-that is until seth was kicked out of the house for being too drunk and going the wrong way. on the way back from kty we stopped at metropolis to take a couple pics with superman. all in all it was a fun nite, and i got about a half hr of sleep (another story). the next day porcia and i went over to her gmas in murphysboro and i ate the first truly delicious meal in a very long time. hopefully she will come down here next semester so i can have these meals more often. i also don't mind hanging out with her family even tho they are adults they are cool as hell. they encouraged me to sleep on their couch if i hadnt got enough sleep, and i took advantage of this. i can't even act like i am hungover too much at home with mom, i dont know how she would act let alone if porcia came over and was bitching about having a long nite. of course i wasn't actually hungover i was just hanging with the ex (which isnt even a good term considering we were never together but makes me look better). we didn't get in a fight this time so it means next weekend or two i'll have a better story. y we still talk to each other is beyond me and i think even him-i guess we're just truly that pathetic. on an end note-i was talking to one of my english teachers today after class (this statement would make me appear to be a butt licker but in actuality it is my teacher who licks my butt) and casually mentioned the ordeal i had with the house. she proceeded to tell me that she had to move from her old office in faner (on the second floor i might add) b/c it had black mold growing and was making her sick. i told her that whole building should be condemned and she agreed with me, but said she wasn't going to do it b/c she wants to receive a raise in her salary.

idk y i feel the need to say this, but i suppose it's b/c im developing a complex as mom would say. (dont tell michaela she's big even tho she's proud of it, she'll develop a complex). so i am defending myself to a comment that deborah made a couple of days ago-a couple days late i suppose. it is in reference to me dropping spanish. "big surprise" deb says. well guess what, i might have been a somewhat lazy student last year/my whole life but last year it was cuz i was getting over dad and realizing that the parents handed to me were shit. as far as highschool was concerned, i have issues with not being smart in every subject. but now i am done feeling sorry for myself, and have become quite studious. last week i was literally in the library every nite but friday sat and sun with a FEVER i might add. and i was there for at least four hours each nite. but i am dropping spanish b/c it is like calculus 3, and about 15 other people who are majoring in spanish have also dropped the course cuz it is so hard. maybe i will take it next year (not offered in spring) with a different teacher, but it is a week away from midterm and i have failed every test. i was going to take a midsemester class but none fit in with my schedule, and none go towards anything i need either. i still am considering taking a photo class at 8 at nite tho cuz i think it would be interesting. so in summary, deborah and other people who dont feel good about themselves and thus look down on me: i am quite studious and please never make me question my work again. it will give me a complex. also, i only have 6 more classes to take for my english major so maybe i'll just drop my minor take 6 classes next semester and graduate this year. how do u like that idea?

yeah ur right i;ll never do that. cuz if nothing else, i should take a few more journalism classes and get certified to teach that as well. and there's probably some other classes that i dont know i have to take. otherwise it makes no sense how i am ahead of everybody who's in this major.

giant sticks, falling over, and a hairball

the weekend was a pretty good time, even considering i didn't go out on friday. i didnt go out on fri cuz i was sick and wanted to be able to drink for the football game. i ended up not even going to the game (slept), but we still started drinking very early for me-at about 6:30. nelly and i went to the rugby house with some new friends. there i found a miniature tree stick and was tackled by the president. the next day my jaw hurt real bad. i wont talk about our silence of the lambs encounter cuz its too scary to talk about. but then we went to the president of all siu frats boy's (who's in love with janell) house where a bunch of atos who'd been drinking for 13 hrs were. needless to say, it was pretty dull and consisted of the president googling at janell, the three of us were the only ones there who seemed to even be alive. o yeah except his roommate who shared some of his hair products with me. then we went to sidetracks where i fell over a couple of times. went back to the apt, ran into mark, took pics of his head on janells butt, threw a hairball around, and eventually went to bed around 4. mark also might be living with us next semester could be either really cool or really annoying. he said he has two big speakers and will be blaring radiohead all day. i like radiohead but i dont want to hear it blared every day. so who knows. my favorite person in the world is coming down next weekend (not u deb). miss pms! shold be a good tiem.

Ah, It's That Time of the Year Again

the time of the year that i HATE
watch my head spin! kill! kill! kill! (somebody clever once told me)
the time of year when all your homework assignments actually start to be due and you go insane from writing more than 4 formal papers a week (or maybe that's from being a journalsim major and english major)
and the time of year that the homecoming elections take place
i can't go FIFTY FEET without getting one of these stupid fliers and i thought the last safe place on campus was the library-think again i just got handed one
seriously, sisters, i DON'T know a fucking sarah or katey and frankly don't give enough of a damn to walk over and vote for them-nobody does-so do yourselves a favor and save some paper and time (that would be better spent applying liquid eyeliner and curling your hair before class)
at least the black sororities give you suckers

and oh, speaking of the library, there's this crazy ugly man who looks like my old spanish teacher who never had his pants zipped but it isn't him and he keeps trudging along the corridor next to me eyeing each student as if they had chocolate fudge dripping down the side of their head and it's rather annoying i don't know maybe he has a favorite computer he likes to use that somebody is at right now god only knows with the people who go to this school.

on anther sidenote, i keep inspecting the brickwork and concrete of the library and faner for mold and i dont like what i see. maybe they've closed down four floors of the library for this problem and not for some great and wonderful improvement like they'd all like us to believe. it honestly wouldn't surprise me. and foreign exchange students are an annoyance.

but i can't complain too bad after all yesterday i shook hands on a deal to make $120 for something that requires almost no work at all

-my neighbors aren't too bad either. the ones right next to us like to play beer pong and flippy cup over there. nelly and i hung with them on sat and one of them was all over her, which is pretty funny and amusing i must say. i haven't heard them be loud except on the weekend. which is more than i can say for the guys' damn neighbors.

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.

2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT.

6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO ME.

9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.

11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR

15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."

16. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT.

17. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.

18. I'M TIRED SO I JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.

19. I BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON MY BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUTDOWN ON THE TIME I'M IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM MY DRINK.

20. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

where r we going?

this weekend was probably the best since i've been down here this year. it started on thur when i said i wouldn't go out, but did, and ended at about 7 this morning when i took a cab home from ashley's. a band happened to play every nite, so we got to dance. my dog came down for the weekend. a lot of good memories. but this morning im in a weird mood. like i dont know quite what to think of everything.

friday janell and i went over to adrienne's and ashleys and saw everybody from our hall last year. maybe it's just the space in time, but it seemed like everybody had grown up, if only a little bit. and then brynna tells me that i LOOK so grown up, which is seriously at least the fifth person who has told me that this year.

then i saw scott from last year at the bar and he has a real job now. i can't believe that's going to be some of us in only a year. it was nice to see him again. u can tell he's changed a lot.

but i guess everybody has-and i don't know why i feel the need to spell this out. but, seriously, i'm cooking this year if only a tiny bit, im actually studying my ass off for a class, getting f's and still not giving up. im turning fucking sentimental and writing my grandma letters about how much i appreciate and love her. im giving people HUGS. ive gotten sick of talking on the phone to people all the time (WHAT!!!). i have a crush on an ATO FRAT BOY who's probably only three inches taller than ME. i have no clue when im going to graduate or what my damn major is going to be by the end of it. im taking classes with people who enjoy drinking coffee on the weekends and overanalyzing harry potter and yet i'm not judging them (too much). AND I HAVE LET A FEW PEOPLE RECENTLY WIN ARGUMENTS.

Whoahhhh

Apparently Britney Spears is going to give birth on tv and donate the money she's getting for it to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

for Hillary

dispatch-two coins
amos lee-bottom of the barrell
david gray-sail away, this year's love

-i'm in a quiet mood today

Meow I'm Satan Cat

so the theme of this weekend, and for that matter every weekend that we've been down here is the cats. anaranjado has been missing for at least a week, which has prompted me to do some rough impersonations of zeppelin in a catlike voice meowing that he/she ate the kitten. the first time i impersonated the cat i was sober, but people loved (or maybe i am the only person) the impersonation so much that they requested me to do a repeat all weekend.

friday janell and i went out to a party where i knew one person and i think she knew maybe three or four people. despite this, we had a fantastic time and managed to drink for free. we got so drunk that we stayed over at the party and didnt even make it to the bars. my best part of the nite: walking to the strip with a boy i met at the party (holding hands and arms naturally) singing "the cat song"
"hi, i'm satan cat and my favorite month is the month of may. cuz i'm not spayed and i like to get laid. just wait i'll bring lots of bab-ays..."
-dan, the boy, was my chorus and would sing meow meow for me-how many guys would do that

saturday-we tried to throw a party but nobody really showed up. i guess u have to give more than two hour's notice to people if u actually expect them to come. i went to hangar for my third time ever and actually really liked the bands that played. best part of the nite:
we invited our neighbor who lives behind us (who's a student) to our party. and i actually hadn't talked to him ever, but janell went over there to invite him and talked to him for an hour or so. so at around 3:00 in the morning he shows up on our doorstep with a beer in hand asking if we're still partying. without introducing himself first. i had to guess who he was. i told him that nobody was over still but he could come in if he wanted. he said he didn't want to interrupt anything between me and our friend bone who was there. then out of nowhere, he told me that he was a model. i was like "oh yeah that's cool..." to which he replied "yep. have a goodnite" and left. the next day i found out that he had gone out of his way to show janell his book of pictures within the hour that he had first met her.

an entire week ago i posted something but apparently it decided not to work

there probably wasnt anything too important but it still makes me mad.

ok updates:

i got in all my classes-my new major is english education. still have no idea when im graduating

janell is now finished with her housepainting projects because i told her she cant do anymore. was getting too bitchy and she insisted on turning the air off for two days. our maintenance guy came over yesterday and told me having the air on would have actually helped the paint dry faster. thanks. wish i would have known that earlier.

our maintenance guy came over to tell us the repair guy cant fix our refrigerator until WED ONE WOULD THINK THAT WAS AN EMERGENCY but thanks to justin we have a mini fridge we're using for the time being

im liking firefox internet and bearshare music downloading. very lucky to have a sister to keep me updated with technology's advances (cuz god knows i dont know about them)

we kept the cats. rachel and janell were calling the orange one orange how freakin original and every time i heard the name come out of their mouths a vein on the side of my neck bulged out so eventually janell and i "compromised" to call it anaranjado-which is just as stupid but not as annoying to actually hear. we also compromised to call "black" zeppelin. but in my mind the cats are still abigail and scarlette johanson suzannah elizabeth. thursday night janell and i came back to the house drunk and were playing with the cats. i picked up scarletta and screamed "look im holding a cat take a pic janell" and then decided that i was going to cover myself in catnip so that anaranjado would love me more. (very original)

my poor puppy

deb just was accepted to northwestern yesterday. everybody give their big congrats to her. (this is a big deal, my gma westfall cried when she heard the news). while this is fantastic, this means deb will be leaving in september, and leaving my poor fat dog. i feel so bad for her. last time roxie lived just with mom she went into a depression, and rarely left her bed. i wish i could take her down with me but i think my roommates might do soemthing to me in my sleep.

No need for a grill

A crazy painter is trying to get into Guiness for living with poisonous snakes. Not only can he live with them, he eats an average of one raw poisonous snake a day. And you thought mom's chocolate chip gluttony was bad.

"Recounting the first time he ate the reptile, Bhaskar said: 'It was the rainy season of 1977. I was just about seven years old, a student of Bal Brahmachari High School in Ranchi,' he said in drawling voice.
'A dhor snake had attacked me. I tried hard to get rid of it, but the snake did not leave me. When I could not find a way to get rid of it, I bit the snake, in a fit of anger and pain. I continued biting it and finally ate it.'
The first experience was 'interesting', says the painter and added that the snake’s blood had tasted strange. hmmm could it have been venom?
'Since that day, I started eating a snake everyday,' adds the man with a proud smile.
Bhaskar’s parents had remained ignorant about their son’s appetite for snakes for at least seven years. 'My father noticed (the snake eating) when I was 14 years old. He tried to stop me. But I had already developed an addiction for snakes,' he said.
He admits he had to face health problems because of his eating habits. Doctors at Sadar Hospital did not entertain me when they came to know that I ate live snakes,' said Bhaskar, who had gone there to get treatment for typhoid."

MY GREAT IDEA

guys i need ur help with this one. any or all ideas will be appreciated.

awhile ago while chatting with deb and hill, i came up with the idea to make a cardboard cutout with somebody's body. there would be a hole where friends could put their faces behind and get their picture taken. it would be a lot of fun. i want the body to be somebody i know, and preferably a body that's easily recognizable i.e. a friend with a lot of body hair, monstrous boobs, etc. i would take a pic of them and blow it up to life size. i think this is a good idea. does anybody agree with me (maybe ive just gone off the deep end idk). and id like suggestions of a. how i could create the cutout with it being somewhat affordable and b. whose body i could use

now that's a bite in the ass!

The Russian Mofia has a lot in common with college students

i once put itching powder on a roll of toilet paper b/c i suspected my suitemates of using it. therefore, i understand the russian's foreseen value in this product.

YOU GUYS WILL LOVE THIS

Miss America is at WAND today and we're all cracking the jokes. marcus (an anchor) just said he offered her his chair and took off his wedding ring. he just got married last week or something too. one of the photographers said he's going to ask her to sign his chest. i just went to the bathroom and nailed her with the door while she was reapplying her makeup before she went on air. hopefully the very tall flower isn't too bruised from the accident. i laughed and said sorry, which is probably what i would have done to anybody. elaine yelled at me for assaulting miss america.

My Dream Honeymoon

The space bed from the fabulous Sunset Inn & Suites in Clinton. I really want to stay in these; now i just need to find a boyfriened.

who wants to get a room with me?

so while going thru an il tourism catalog today at work, i came across a hotel in clinton that has themed honeymoon suites. no joke. some of the themes are heart's delight, hawaiian waters, arabian nights, the rainforest, crystal cave, pearl under the sea (where ur room looks like ur staying underwater), the roman retreat, and my personal favorite, space odyssey. here is the hotel's description of space odyssey:

For the truly adventuresome, try our out-of-this-world fantasy suite, The Space Odyssey Suite. Experience the feeling of soaring among the stars from your spaceship/bed. Relax in the unique triangular whirlpool tub as you view the large plasma TV or bring your own DVD's or videos to watch. Simply escape from the tensions of your life in the steam shower, complete with the latest in designer showers, The "Raindancer". It’s like having a masseuse in your room with you! Your wet bar comes complete with a microwave, refrigerator and coffeemaker so you won’t have to leave your spaceship until you are ready to reenter Earth’s atmosphere. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to enjoy your outer space experience and boldly go where no others have gone before!
-have u ever heard of anything more romantic?

You have to check out the pics of the spaceship bed!!!
not too shabby for $98/nite S-Th

it's less than a month before i head back to school. im kind of scared that i'll have to get a job as i have madw 0 dollars this summer, but its bound to be a good time. besides with my new major im sure my classes r going to be a lot easier. janellio and i have already discussed the multitude of toys we're going to bring down. the list includes a putting green, croquet set, badminton set, volleyball net, and sprinklers for the toddlers to run in (now all we need is a slide-i told janell that and she said "ur right"). we've covered all the basics except a damn grill i think it should be her job to purchase one considering im getting the couches (whether i pay for them or not i have paid for them in one way). im going to miss my fat unhealthy dog.

Seals Committing Suicide

one more thing

every now and then when ur viewing blogs u should click on the next blog button on the top right. there r some interesting ones ive come across.

When Guys Get Bored

unfucking believable. click on the link. it's good for a laugh or a sigh of disdain. i laughed.

my new interests

-teaching my 7 year old dog how to "come here"

-gossipping with janell's friends about her (got a big one) ok so maybe this isn't a new interest

-skipping class even tho i have no good reason

-searching for the perfect swimsuit (that will not make me look skinny and actually produce cleavage)

-i have become devoted to dave berry too bad he's on sabbatical

-flirting with one of the officers at the state police headquarters in posotam on the phone

-hiding deb's mail

-telling my customers at bob evan's how bad the spaghetti is

-desserts

...You Might As Well Live in a Bubble!

went to the optomotrist today cuz my contacts have been bugging me. apparently i am allergic to the protein in my own damn eyes. he gave me some medicated drugs and now i have to clean my contacts with a hyrogen peroxide solution, and if i pour it directly into my eyes i can have eye damage. isn't that fun. o yeah and this makes the third doctor in one year who has referred to me as being "sickly"

Thinking out loud

i went over to chatham today cuz there was a concert benefit for billy, jac's bf who died. her little bro aaron is in a band now and i got to hear him sing. worth a couple of laughs i must say. the second band i heard was much more to my liking (not heavy metal or whatever u call that shit nowadays) of course it was a bunch of old guys. i only ended up staying for a few hrs as im exhausted from working every day (more emotionally than physically) and honestly i cant spend more than three hours being the outsider, the old friend who doesn't know anybody. honestly i dont even know if i know myself anymore-or at least the person who i was before i came to college. these days i dont even know if ive improved as a person or gotten worse. i cant even think of the last time in two years that i felt like i had my head on straight. even writing that sentence sounds off is it grammatical? hell idk. maybe my sanity will come back to me when i move to carbondale, but this seems unlikely considering im usually more wired on stress there than here.

to opt out of getting pre-approved credit cards in the mail, do what i did and call 1-


888-5-OPT-OUT

Check it Out

a lady who rented a billboard ad trying to meet people to date

Slow Down on the Ramps

this morning there were three accidents, two deadly, that all started from a guy going too fast on a ramp. he flipped his car three times on the ramp and died, then an suv was going too fast and didn't see that the ramp was closed due to the first accident. he flipped his car several times and died. then a car along the highway was looking at the accidents on the ramp and rearended another car. they don't know yet the extent of those injuries. freaking stupid people. slow down.

love,

one of the worst drivers in the world

a new enlightenment

i've always thought our media were stupid but since interning at a news station, i've started to realize just how stupid. saddam hussein is going on trial and yet nobody knows about it. but michael jackson's verdict interrupted regularly scheduled television programs just a few days ago. i honestly dont think i'd know about husseins trial if it weren't for doing nothing 3 days a week at a news station but reading newspapers and watching cnn. which is horrible considering americans have died fighting hussein's regime. we care more about a music star instead of a man who victimized millions of people and countries. maybe we'd care more if the media weren't so fucked up.

i saw this on a bumper sticker on tue

"if ignorance is bliss, how come Americans are on Prozac?"

Haunted Houses in Illinois

i wanna go to some of these. we should make a trip.

I'm Returning Home!!

for the weekend in two weeks. my it sure will be nice to get away from spfld and actually go out for once. all this abstaining from alcohol though means that i'll probably get sick the first nite. especially considering i'll be staying over with the boys instead of meeting them out at 11 after primping for two hours. (drinking early=passing out at a ridiculously early time). today i learned ashley is in the process of purchasing two jet skis. EXCITING STUFF!

Isn't it Ironic

so today i was calling up places that fax us to tell them that our fax # has changed. one of these places was the people for blagojevich organization. their secretary said i was probably confusing them with blagojevich's media line and i said no, they had faxed us some pro blagojevich stuff yesterday. apparently nobody in the office to their knowledge had faxed anything. so then they took my number down and called me back about a half hour. someone else then spoke with me, saying they were afraid someone was illegitimately using their fax machine, and i faxed them a copy of what we had received along with the fax number that sent it and the time. they thanked me for helping, and said their team would investigate the matter. kinda funny how the people for blagojevich are freaking out about someone illegitmately using a fax machine. now if only all the state govt workers could take the same kind of concern about all of blagojevich's illegitimate actions as his team to elect him does about a damn fax machine.

Quote of the Week

"If I would have started synchronized swimming when I was younger I would have gone pro,"
-Janell
"Why are you laughing? I should videotape me and my sister's routines so you can see how serious I am."

a good thing to do at my boring internship

idk why i didnt think of this before. updating my blog is the perfect thing to do while at wand as 70% of the time i sit around smelling my armpits for entertainment. (occasionally something good comes up on the scanner). this morning i called up all the police and fire depts that our station covers and asked if there's news. i also gossipped with the only other person in the office, anchor kelly blah blah. i've found that i get along with most of the anchors as they have the same talkative attention loving personalities as i do myself. why do u think i wanted to be on tv in the first place? we also all enjoy chatting about the latest dateline episodes. maybe i have found my dream job. kelly tells me that she could see me becoming a good anchor because i am "tenacious". i just thought i was loud and pessimistic. funny how i'm not even afraid to express my attitude at a real work atmosphere. it's not like these people are meth heads at bob evan's. kelly tells me she'll probably take me out with her reporting next sat. sounds exciting but my lazy self has gotten used to being here only a couple hours.

Trip to the Ozarks

when i departed on my journey monday nite i had no idea what was in store. spending five hours with keith on the way there was just the beginning as janell worked until 5 on tues and as u can imagine we spent a lot of time together including two nites alone in a hotel room. kind of weird. but not too horrible. of course nothing happened.

the vaca was a lot of fun. tue we relaxed around the pools and wed we went out on a boat with some people janee lives with. the resort was exquisite-dont know if i'd ever pay 5 billion dollars to stay there like most but it was really nice for the discount of $40/nite. the place was a freaking maze tho. there were more than a few occasions that we got drunk and explored. this consisted of opening up any door we came across (whether it looked like a utility closet or a passage to the arcade) and taking it to another door. we wouldnt stop until we were tired of walking, freaked out by where we'd ended up, or had to piss. to get from the parking garage to our room, we would go up stairs, through a hall, through a crystal ballroom, sometimes through the kitchen in the crystal ballroom (keith nicknamed it the crstal meth ballroom b/c it was so wild) then out another hall, down some stairs, up some stairs and around the hall. i feel it's worth mentioning that we parked in the 4th floor parking garage and yet we went up stairs to get to our 2nd floor room. the only explanation i can give u is resort is built on a mountain and like faner (for u southern kids).

*i'd like to give a shout out to my burnt dot on my left arm. i missed a spot applying sunscreen and it peeled and is now five shades darker than the rest of my body.
i'd also like to give a big hey to the huge bruises on my hip bones. apparently i am too skinny to go down on the hotel slide on my stomach.

Sex on Campus

idk if u guys have heard about these articles or not. to give some background, this year the chicago sun times did a series of articles on college students' dating and sexual habits and made some pretty critical observations. they wrote about two schools: u of i and good 'ol southern. i wrote about the articles as a part of my journalism final. for the most part the articles really piss me off. especially one where they went to kam's and described students as zoo animals in heat. still, i would be lying if i said that i didnt agree with most of what the authors said. i just think they over-dramatized everything.

check out the articles. i think ud find it interesting to read what an outsider thinks of our lives.

Congratulations to Miss Hillary

on ur graduation. it's over, bitch! p.s. what's this i hear of a new lover?

joke

Q: What do u call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?






A: A quarter pounder with cheese

-courtesy of Adrienne

I didn't drink...I know

I didnt drink this weekend, not even one beer. I have decided I'm going to do all that is in my power not to get a bladder infection again for three months.

But i did see a movie, which would be my :cough: third time at the cdale movie theatre in the two years that i've gone here. once last year i went with mom, andy and i saw a movie once when we were dating, and fri i saw another with janell's friend keith.

and for the record, is that all that weird that i can go to a movie with a guy that i have no interest in dating? cuz i dont think it's weird but apparently everybody else does. anyway we saw hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and i'd recommend it. i actually read the book in jr. high and thought the movie was much better. a good movie to see in the theatre too. hillary, i'd think u'd like it.

--damn is it ever going to warm up. i mean seriously the dorms dont have heat and it gets 30 degrees at nite and i only have two blankets still down here and i have the coldest blood in illinois. i just sneezed. it felt good.

Today I Rode a Motorcycle In the Windy Rain

oh yeah and i have an afro

today i went to the little grand canyon. it was a good time only we got lost. i accidentally missed spanish class, but at least it's a good excuse. i want to go to sidetracks tonight for "25 cent" drafts (actually 50) only now its raining!!! we'll see i still might. i made my schedule FINALLY only im weightlisted for the most important class. the counselor said that i have about a 50/50 chance of getting into it. nice, considering that if i don't get in i cant double major and graduate on time.

I'm a Player What Can I Say

so i had a very fun weekend. here are some highlights:

-the boys got their apt (no furniture or water tho) and fri i spent awhile drinking over there

-went to sidetracks where eventually 7 guys that i have a history with or was spitting game to at the time all showed up. even tho this could proove a difficult situation for an amateur, i was able to multitask things like a true baller. i only had to diss one dude to maintain my cool.

-rehatched things a lil with dicky dickson the red one. got free alcohol from him which is the most important thing. we're gonna hang next weekend aka friends with benefits. one thing that i do find entertaining tho is as soon as he found out that was the deal he became his usual cheap self and was trying to get me to buy HIM food from don taco. of course i said no and made him look like a jackass in front of all his friends.

-got scotty 2 hotty to leave a party, pick janell and i up from don taco and drop us off at home. and i specified the exact time he had to pick us up (7 mins)

-hung out with scott the next day as well. realized he was a huge player but didnt hold it against him. i actually kinda like the guy...as a friend. he's pretty damn funny.

-compared scott to schmerek naler and later schmerek showed up at the bar wearing girls boy short underwear so tight that u could see his fucking ball hair. that kid has a serious problem. apparently scott and schmerek work together at quatros scott was pissed that he was the schmerek we were comparing him to.

-went to a party where janell and i paid $5 each for ONE cup of beer. when the guys who owned the house refused to give our money back, we stole their salt and tequila and locked ourselves in their bathroom to take shots. one of their friends took pics with my camera of it. i accidentally threw up on their carpet (it wasnt really vomit it was all tequila and my hand caught most of it, but still, i think we got them back)

-scott, forgetting about the tequila, bought us drinks to make up for the $5.

-later he and i went back to the same house after the bars-maybe 15 people were there. had some dijorno pizza, played poker, and chilled. told the guys that i heard somebody had puked on their carpet. apparently they thought i was talking about another room that had been puked in.

-went to wise guys before heading home. the owner kissed my hand as always and told me "every nite u come in here with a different boy." i told him don't worry, all are just friends. then he said "goodnite beautiful" and kissed my hand again. i love foreign men.

"Janellisms"

i've decided to start a new type of posting called "janellisms." a close network of janell's friends and i have been using this term for some time now to describe the silly things that come out of her mouth. im guessing these posts will continue for quite some time as i dont think janell hardly ever reads this webpage.

Janellism #1: Asking to share food, while paying no attention to the actual size of the food or how sick the person she wants to share it with is.

for example: Friday nite-we walk into don taco and janell says, "i'm not hungry, does anyone want to split a taco??? i just want a taste, guys." then proceeds to eat half of keith's shrimp nachos cuz she ended up being hungry after all.

monday nite-she just wants a taste of the candy dots. asks if i can eat half of an orange one and give her the other half. mind you, i have a box of kleenex out on the table as i have a bad cold. mind you, we are talking about splittling a frickin' dot. i tell her no, and she gets angry. enjoys one full orange dot, then decides to splurge on another, but chris takes the box away before she can grab it. apparently we had eaten too many of his dots.

I AM:

-the strongest littlest person in the world. i can lift people nearly twice my size
-pissed at my future landlord
-growing hips and eating like a prepubrescent boy
-the type of person who carries a watergun, hand shocker, and recently teeth flasher in my purse
-now the owner of a stinky car (very upset about this)
-a hypochondriac, but now fully recovered from my sun poisoning. if only i could get over this cold i just got
-mortified about the idea of shopping for suits sometime soon (both the swim and business type)
-even more mortified about coming home this summer
-the object of resentment by a very bitter richard dickson (but at least i dont have that name)
-the type of person who sits in the front seat of a cab when no one is in the back at 4 a.m. and engages in an enriching conversation about ted coppell and the driver's own desert storm experiences
-never able to step down from an argument even when the whole thing is ridiculous
-better than 15 people at throwing a football through a board (including boys)
-the only person in the world who gets lost running through an obstacle course!

I HAVE FLEAS

contrary to popular belief, i do actually have a little bit of a life. and as everyone already knows, i am a very moody person. thus, i do not always choose to make time to write on this. today before class i was supposed to meet with the radio tv counselor and call up home rentals. instead i am on here doing nothing productive because i have fleas.

yes, that's right, i have fucking fleas, scabies, fucking somehting i dont know. actually i just have a really bad sunburn (from going to a tanning bed for a full ten minutes yikes guys dont recommend that) and it is itching like fucking crazy. i swear i look like a dog scratching myself repeatedly. last nite i got umm maybe two hours of sleep if i was lucky. since it's mostly just my arms and legs that itch right now i'm guessing sometime between today and tomorrow my ass, crotch, and boobs will start itching (cuz they're still bright red) and when that happens people are going to think i have crabs. i really cant think of anything to do to help. i'm allergic to aloe, i've taken several advil just in case that would do soemthing, lotion every five minutes, no lotion, taking multiple showers, cortisone 10, salicyic acid, astringent, baby powder NOTHING HELPS. i'm really contemplating going to the drug store, buying some sleeping pills and taking them so i sleep all day. or i could just be like deb and take a couple vicadins. but seriously tho i've never itched this bad from a sunburn maybe i have scabies or something.

o and on another sidenote the housing for next year situation has gotten worse. we decided to live at the formerly blue apartments only when we got to the office we found out that all of them are already taken. so pretty much now our choices are this house that costs $300/month plus utilities, the quads, and possibly lewis park (which would be my personal favorite but for some reason my roommates think the quads are nicer???). we're trying so hard in fact to find anything that's available that's not in the ghetto that i even got kyle monroe's number from lucy last night and called him up to ask about his apartment. of course he's staying there again next year.

stupid drunk nite

last nite i got pretty wasted, and apparently so did my sister. at the bar corey and i argued for a good 5 mins about roxeanne and whether or not she was a hamster that lived in a sewer for 10 years. i got rather frustrated and asked corey if she was on steroids and if she had pus forming at her armpits. she proceeded to lift her arms up for the whole world to see the answer was no. so then y does she have to pick on those who answer yes??? deb proceeded to tell both of us to never talk again.

then stroke 9 played and i didnt see them for the rest of the nite. i did however manage to get shitfaced without them. the nite was looking pretty event free until that is we left the bar and keith and justin and some strange boy who was stalking us started to tear at my nerves. eventually they got me to say some pretty odd things, including that i was a "les", took 45 min showers with janell, and had nicknamed her "vag". we got back to the dorm and i tried to pass out on the table only keith was being obnoxious, getting mud all over everything. i called up janell to "confess" and this morning she played the message back for me. if my memory would have failed, neither she nor i would have been able to make sense of my slurs. moral of the story is...idk...u should already know there is no point to any of my stories

Quote of the Day

my spanish professor "This is the future of probability in the past. Yeah, I know."

Things I've Learned Within the Past Two Days

1. There is a 30 lb beaver (sex unknown) nicknamed "The Big One" roaming around Thompson Lake
2. I almost made it to 20 before I found out what a rim job was-thank you Seth for the never-ending sexual info
3. Rose water is really good to wash your face with and it smells good too
4. Next time u think u hear a barking dog it could be a flying squirrel making the noise
5. A whole lot about bureaucracy.

Ok It's Been Awhile

i'm getting back to posting again. even tho i did pretty much nothing all of spring break as u know i wasnt feeling in my element to post. nothing too interesting to post. not that there ever is. i'll leave u with a quote from topher.

he opened up a fortune cookie today and read "u will live a long life filled with health and happiness" then laughed, saying, "hah like that's gonna happen!"
???

Why I Love Porcia

Porcia (b/c she's Porcia) posed for a picture with Jacque's digital camera with her in a bra and a banana between her cleavage. Brian grew furious, took Porcia's keys and ran out the hotel. Porcia called him up to see where he was driving her car. He told her off a cliff. She responded by saying, "No, honey, don't do that cuz I only have liability now and then I'd just be screwed with no car."

Flower in the Crannied Wall

Flower in the crannied wall
I pluck you out of the crannies,
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower -but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.

-by Lord Alfred Tennyson


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i need ur help

for those of u "creative minds" i need help. hillary, deb, what product or company should i choose to do a two page advertising layout for? don't say miller or trojan my teacher doesnt like crap like that. i'd appreciate any suggestions.

Another One

Tower: United 123, traffic 3 o'clock, 2 miles, an American Fokker 100.
United: Tower, United 123. I've wanted to say this for a long time: I'VE GOT THAT FOKKER IN SIGHT!

Luke's Away Message

ATC: Cessna 1234 What are your intentions?
Cessna: To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating.
ATC: Cessna 1234 I meant in the next five minutes not years.

HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY

my mom calls me at 9 tonight to ask for advice. she sounds like a 12 year old school girl who has just had the hottest boy in eighth grade ask her to go to the dance. apparently someone new from eharmony has recently entered the picture. for those of u who are wondering he's 5'9", has hair, blue eyes, fit body, is 55, likes the water (a big plus) and hiking, and is a richy who lives in san diego. o and on the weirder side he has two grown daughters and was born in a family with 5 boys and one girl. he wants to get more serious and talk to her on the phone she wants to know if it's too soon. but she really wants to know if his voice sounds annoying cuz she'll end the relationship right then. she can't talk to janelle about this because janelle is very territorial over her and finds fault in all the eharmony guys. so she came to her pimp reputation daughter for help.

my advice: don't rush yourself and do what you feel ready for. go for it if want and ask him what kind of car he drives

i'm such a loving daughter

Shoutouts

-Topher for letting me borrow his sandwich maker
-Janell thanks for eating ur grilled cheese on my keyboard so now i have crumbs all over the place. see if i put u in a transe next weekend after that
-Lukasz thanks for always driving our drunk asses around. i dont know how u stand it
-Deb because if it werent for u i'd still be able to say i had never slept in a 30 degree attic with bats while everybody and their mom was having sex and because i love u
-some guy named mike (or brad i really couldnt tell ya)for introducing me to captain and sprite
-Thomas with the tongue ring cuz one day i really may play nurse
-All the boys at Stix last nite who tolerated me grabbing and caressing their asses
-Ashley for being my constant dance partner

Happy Birthday to Bashley

hey baby i hope u had a good bday nite and are continuing to have a good bday day. i know i had tons of fun last nite. Diggy Dawgy!

Word of the Day

Doublestuff

n. 1)the state of dancing in between two other people 2)a buttcheek grab consisting of one person grabbing the left buttcheek and another grabbing the right instantaneously
v. the action of creating or participating in a doublestuff i.e. damn janell and crazy boy who's following us around y did u double stuff me

whatchu want bitch! 

SIU Health Services-Don't Go If You Value UR Life

so i called up health services yesterday to bitch about them misdiagnosing me with a negative strep culture and today i talked to the doctor. according to him it is very possible to have a negative strep test and then a day later have strep so bad that ur progressing into scarlettina and another culture can be positive after LESS THAN FIVE MINS. he also told me that emycin clears up strep throat, but dr. wilson told me it doesn't. and they both see strep throat cases all the time. god i don't know who to believe what to believe and i still dont feel any better.

the weekend

so apparently i missed a pretty good weekend. warm weather in carbondale and a dear friend making out with a minor who happened to be the little sister of a friend in front of everybody. deb, what would u do if one of ur friends made a pass on me (not that it would happen)? why am i never around for events like this??? anyway i guess im feeling a little better, and cant be too upset about missing all the activity cuz if i hadnt gone to spfld and seen the doctor i'd have scarlet fever by now. gotta luv the siu health services misdiagnoses. (note i said misdiagnoses not misdiagnosis it's fun sounding smart). ok that's all i got. i had a very uneventful weekend. everybody good luck with their midterms midterms i know im struggling to focus.

ok this is ridiculous

apparently there is a real country called georgia in this world, and i'd never even heard about it. i came across this information when i was looking up facts about croatia since i realized i know nothing about that country either (but at least i've fucking heard of it). what the hell do they teach us in school? am i the only dumbass who hasn't heard of this country? i've gone to school for 15 years now and my social studies classes still consist of the same shit they were teaching me in the fifth grade. how many more countries have i not heard of?
for information on georgia click here "http://www.parliament.ge/GENERAL/"

??? Quote of the Week

"Every time i see a 747 landing, oh man, that's just an instant orgasm right there." -Lukasz discussing how he won't go to St. Louis, but if we're going to the St. Louis airport maybe he'll come along

Interesting Fact of the Day

Turns out the lining of the digestive tract possesses thousands of nerve endings, but they're not linked to the brain. These outposts account for us experiencing "gut reactions" over things. Since they're not connected to the brain, scientists refer to the sensations received thru them as a 'sixth sense,' which explains y some ideas we get about things are truly felt, not thought. weird huh.

-info courtesy of The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. an interesting book i'm reading now (yeah i know i'm reading s/t), which i'd recommend to most. it's all about this finding ur true self and the answer to life hooplah, and mom of course gave it to me for xmas, but i'm actually finding parts of it interesting.

Wow

so today i was walking back from faner to home in the frigid cold and this car drives past me. one of the guys in the backseat sticks his head out the window and screams at me, "hey tie ur shoes". instinctively, i look at down at my shoes, only they're not untied. i look back at the boy in the backseat and he's laughing hysterically.

I've found a new hobby. it's called eating.

Quote of the Week

In regards to my size: "She's not that little. She's like the size of my stomach."
-Janelle's friend Carl, who ordinarily has a little stomach, but consumed a total of eight bbq pork sandwiches on sunday. he was so proud of his swollen gut that he frequently asked people to poke it.

The Weekend Baby

Fri was a bust. i was in a bad mood and didnt drink, and janee-nee left me so i had no dancing partner at carbos. by the way, i'm not really feeling that bar. sat it was a whopping 63 degrees, so we went to giant city for the day. it was nice and relaxing. sun as u all know was the superbowl, and this was my most interesting day. i didn't eat much of a dinner cuz the party janelbo and i went to was supposed to have food (but of course u know how picky of an eater i am). well needless to say i drank A LOT and ended up not even watching most of the game. things i did do throughout the nite:

-danced with andy's friend, smack (who's a crazy spass) on the coffee table, on the wall, pretty much all over the place
-proceeded to slap one of andy's friends' bare ass with a belt to "show everybody how it's really done" i'm told one could hear the thunder clap of the belt from the other room
-gave janelbo a lap dance
-called ashley a couple times apparently to tell him i had a GREAT story for him later. i don't remember this story or the phone calls (he's probably just fucking w/ me)
-went home with one of andy's friends. i'm pleading the fifth on that one.

Awesome Quote of the Week

(While at work) "Hi, I'm drinking some coffee and eating some cheese, and I wanted to review my Spanish alphabet with you (without pausing for a response) ok so it's a b c d e...now damn how do u pronounce this word...i mean letter..." -Mom Westfall

Here is a pic of andy #2 

Ok So Obviously If I Don't Hang Out With Him I Wouldn't Have a Pic

i really could care less who the boy is, it's not like i hang out with him or anything. to sum things up, he's not cute and he's from new jersey. and he's probably older than u.

Random Event of the Day

I kinda got asked out by Andy #2 (not the red one)today, and for those of u who don't know who this cat is, he's some guy in law school that i met once at a bar when he was with corey. corey has no idea who he is, or something idk, anyway i talk to him every once in awhile at the dining hall and have seen him out at the bars a few times. he's a pretty cool guy...i guess

Entering the mind of Becca: Random Thoughts of The Day

1. i think i may have just broken my nose
2. how easy is a nose to break?
3. no, i don't think i've broken my nose
4. but, man that would suck if somebody else actually broke their nose at the same time i thought i broke mine
5. on the cold days i actually wear clothes, on the warm days i put on a sweatshirt and long underwear before i step out. y is this?
6. why do the english professors get ornamental rugs in their offices, when the spanish teachers get nothing? i bet siu stereotypes against immigrants
7. god, i fucking HATE group projects

Going Searching For Beavers

So it's a real rainy day today which means I'm not in the mood to do much of anything. That is except go search for beavers. janelle's crazy roommate charlot (who's really tiffany schmidt for u rochester kids) found two beavers yesterday on thompson lake, so it got me thinking. i even read up on what they eat and shit, so if anyone's interested, there's gonna be a beaver picnic tonight around 8. bybf (bring ur own beaver food). for more exciting info on beavers click here
>

He's so cute I could just eat him up!