the gag reflex

this may sound disgusting to some of u but i have this uncontrollable gag that comes sometimes when i eat food. most of the time it's when im feeling ill or hungover or im eating gross food and have to force it down. but not always. and with this "gag" comes a retching noise like im throwing up. janell thinks its funny idk what YOU think. but i was just thinking about it cuz im eating my lunch now and i just gagged and janell wasnt here to hear it.

observations ive made in the last week

1. some guys buy girls drinks at the bar to get their attention. others paint themselves blue head to toe, reek of formaldahyde, and somehow successfully get a random hottie at the bar to go on a date with them.

2. tonsil doctors lie. they just like the money they get from surgery. i already have a sore throat.

3. on an average day i eat a bowl of cereal 1.5 times

4. sometimes when i have a quiet moment i turn to look down on roxie and realize shes not here. then i say "hi roxie i miss u" in my head and she hears me in springfield and barks "i love you rebecca woofhall"

5. four's a bad number to end a list on

famous person quote of the day

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

-Shirley Temple Black

well i relieved some stress laughing about the stupidity of this so i guess it works

a $17 book! only in america can that guy get published when real writers and poets desperately try to get published for years

Don't lie unless you're not going to get caught

As some of u folks may recall about a month ago seth egged my car and apt front door as a part of a day long war i had with the assholes of 18E. when i yelled at him and told him his hateful acts were not funny, he proceeded to say that he called the 1800tbsfunny line and they had told him it was quite hilarious.

somehow i always knew he was lying, so that night i got online and posted the story of him egging on tbs' webpage. today they emailed me back, rating the story a 1.2 on a scale of 1-5. 1 being "pathetic" and 5 being "very funny". apparently i am right once again. if u'd like to see the story posted online go to the link above, scroll down to bottom of page and click the box that reads "rate it". im third down on the right side of the new page that pops up.

MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!

i really couldnt make up a story better than this! make sure u read the ending of the article there's a twist u dont expect.

Quote of the day

"Bye, sweetie, you have a good day!!! Goodbye, precious-precious!!! You guys can figure out who's who."

-Mom saying bye to the dog and I as she leaves for work.

What is the limit to our dreams?

This morning I had a dream that seemed to last very long. It had every detail imagineable, and I'm telling you it would have taken literally hours for all parts of the dream to actually occur in real life. Then Mom woke me up and I realized I had only been asleep for five minutes. How is this possible? I believe this means that my subconscious has a great imagination, one that knows no restraint of time--seconds, minutes, years of a lifetime have no value. So I wonder maybe this power is secretly lying in all of us, in our most innate and natural selves. Maybe that is who we are all meant to be until some restraint in life brings us down. Think of how you thought about the world and all the things you were going to achieve when you were five years old. I know as an adult I was going to be a doctor, a vetrinarian, a mother of 20 kids, and a school teacher just to name a few. If I can do over a 100 things in my sleep in five minutes, perhaps there is no limit to what I can accomplish. Time may not play as crucial of a role in our success as we all think it does. My guess is a lot of factors are only factors we allow to weigh in on our lives. So I ask all of you: what is the limit to your dreams? I have none.

THINGS THAT ARE HARD TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.

WHY ARE THERE NO AVAILABLE MEN WITH TONGUE RINGS???

this sad fact has recently come to my attention and since realizing it, the idea has really taken full possession of me. i can't understand it. tongue rings are great inventions of mankind, and it seems like nobody gets pierced there anymore. i had a shot with somebody last year with one (and a HOTTY i might add) but he turned out to be a little too sensitive (understatement) for me and considering he lived just two doors away and was always making love to janell's mind, i decided it wasnt all that good of an idea to get involved. so i still every now and again obsess about boys with tongue rings. janell and i have decided we're going to try to get a club with siu guys with tongue rings started and maybe invite them all to a party at our house. i think it's a great idea. too bad nobody will probably show up. keith has suggested that i take a metal detector to the bars.

Happy New Year

so i checked hillary's site today and of course she hasnt posted anything in over a month, but paul did, so i went to his blog. he had an interesting post about resolutions, and inspired me to come up with a list of my own. so here they are in no particular order:

1. get a 4.0 spring sem
2. find a boy with a tongue ring who likes to buy me drinks
3. get a job
4. go to europe this summer
5. master the art of cooking omelettes and fried eggs (the top is always so runny)
6. start doing yoga
7. slouch less b/c according to my dr. during a random physical, it's causing me back problems
8. go to class more often

What are ur resolutions????

A Riddle for You

There is a common English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word - from nine letters right down to a single letter. What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?

The answer will be posted in a week if nobody guesses it.

im starting to feel better and i can talk for several mins without it hurting too bad. maybe i'll wear clothes tomorrow.