Watch out for squirrels on campus

making out with a bag of chex mix, complete mayhem, even murder of man's best friend. what beasts!

-on a sidenote im very proud to attend the only university in the world that officially doesn't have a library

Question

does anybody actually read/enjoy the links to weird sites and stories that i put up? or should i just stop putting links to them?

Robbery at the L.P.

so last night a guy got robbed at gunpoint at our apartment complex. and then he was shot in the ass. makes me feel real safe. of course i still feel safer walking to lewis park than i did the house on chatauqua and i never walk around the area he was at by myself when it's late at nite b/c it's dark and there's always people lingering around there. but wow still what can i say. carbondale is the fucking ghetto. am i terrified to still live here? not much more terrified than anywhere else in this town. i knew kids who got mugged freshman year over at the towers.

Last night

all in all, last nite was pretty fun and very eventful. this usually seems to be how nights that we have no idea what we're going to do develop.

first we hitched a ride to fratsby's from my neighbor who keeps hitting on me even tho he just broke up with his fiance (who still calls him her boyfriend) and i have told him about a thousand times i just wanna be friends but janell and keith dont care about my personal life and like to get free rides places. so we hung out with him for an hour or so then he didnt want to leave with us. none of janell's dancers ever showed up so we followed a rugby player over to stix and paid cover (and since when did stix start charging cover) only to walk inside and see about four people in the entire bar at midnite.

so then we walked over to sidetracks where we spent the rest of the nite. u couldnt even walk at sidetracks b/c there were so many people but at least there were people. this prooved to be an advantage as it allowed janell and i to dance rape all the guys without even moving around. it also meant that a certain ato named steve who's majoring in hospitality and tourism could get completely naked for ten minutes without any of the bouncers noticing. janell took some pics and there has been some discussion of creating a website entitled "steve's weiner.com" eventually he did not get kicked out (if u would have seen this body there would have been no complaining) he just decided to put his clothes back on after one of his friends convinced him it might be a good idea. that may have been the highlight of my night except for the events at don taco.

while waiting in line for the bathroom this other frat boy who boasted that he was wearing $300 jeans that looked like they were from old navy started talking shit to me and janell. when he tried to break into our bathroom while janell was peeing i got pissed, slammed open the door, and punched him in the face before he could even realize that i had opened the door. then he proceeded to bite my pinky and im telling u this hurt worse than when one of our dogs have bitten me in the past (probably b/c i was drunk tho). i also was afraid that i had broken my hand in the process of hitting him. then i slammed the bathroom door again and locked it while he continued trying to literally break the door down fun, fun. he wanted to beat my ass (and yes even tho im a girl) except his friends were laughing hysterically about the situation and told him not to. i actually think i managed to hurt him a little bit b/c i caught him off guard. at any rate when janell was finished pissing we literally sprinted over to the don taco line of food ordering where keith was and clinged onto him for dear life. i was scared shitless last nite but its pretty funny to think about it now. the asshole deserved a punch of the face for how he was acting anyway. and keith could have easily kicked his ass had he tried to do anything.

There She Blows

some important things you should (or should not) know about:

1. im getting addicted to coke, coca cola that is. have had 3 today. and yes, i know this is very bad but i cant help myself

2. today i was running late and did not have time to brush my teeth before i went to the writing center so i stuck a piece of gum in my mouth. and then for the next four hours i sat around thinking about how gross my teeth felt and how i couldnt wait to get home to brush them but then once i got home i waited two hours before i actually brushed them. (i was eating during this time tho)

3. just read in national geographic today that crows are one of the smartest animals in the world-even smarter than chimpanzees and definitely smarter than any bitch who decides to get up in my grill

4. yo momma so stupid when she was pregnant with you she ate baby food!

5. when someone exclaims "there she blows" when they open a bathroom stall to go in, but turn around and walk out instead u should try to keep ur curiousity at bay (trust me on this one)

6. number 1 reason why i like lewis park so much: the thousand dollar fireworks display we got on sat. too bad the police didnt like the fireworks as much as i did. o yeah and also today at 3 in the afternoon im driving thru and there is a huge flood of water in the middle of the street. i roll down my window and ask the guys next to ashley's apt "what the hell is this" and they say "it's a waterpark what the hell does it look like. put on ur swimsuit and play with us" then i see two firemen fucking with the hydrant next to our apts. laughing at what the guys told me. still dont know exactly what that one was about. i imagine somebody lit a dumpster on fire.