Now We've Really Struck Gold

Notice to the Public: I would be willing to pay for any Shaman classes you're interested in taking so you can spiritually heal me already. Spread the word!

The Dream Job

I think I may have finally found the job I was meant to do my whole life. Too bad it's only part time...

Spiritual Healer Needed

It's been one of those weeks where my mind drifts to the snow white clouds and I wonder to myself where can I find an ancient shaman. You see, I have many ailments, and depending on the week or month can even have more ailments than my sister. I wonder how much it would cost to have a spiritual healer person come over to my apartment and perform some rituals to rid me of my excess pain. I think I would like him or her to kiss my achilles tendon and rub snake skin on it. Then they could pour some beetle juice down my throat and end by chanting some magical prayer. Do you think Craigslist has this? I bet it would work. The question is, though, how much would I have to pay and would I be able to videotape it so I could play it over and over again to the delight of my friends and family.

Yo, Debz, maybe we could get a two for one deal. What do you say?

Lady Refinement and Short Skirts

once again it's getting to be that time of year where women are able to sport the miniskirt. Considering that my wardrobe has not seriously been updated for about 7 years, I have quite the AE skirt collection. Now, I don't think that any of these would necessarily fit the way too short category, or for that matter even some the "miniskirt" category (I'm 5'2" I mean nothing really is going to be that short on me!). However, I am starting to ponder whether or not it is appropriate any longer for me to wear these articles of clothing. I'm not particularly upset by the way my thighs look or anything, I'm just beginning to think maybe 24 years old is too old for such attire. But, I really don't like short shorts and in a couple of months it will be too hot to wear the long shorts that hit me past the knee. My boyfriend's advice, naturally, is that I can never go wrong wearing a mini skirt. But, I don't really value his opinion that much! (I hope he's reading. In which case, I'm just kidding : )

Please vote and let me know. And if your vote is it's time to get rid of them, what is my short skirt replacement?

Boys can be Gymnasts Too!

Always rigid in my rigid stereotypes, I have always held the popular belief that women were more flexible than men. Of course, right, who in their right minds would ever think it could be the other way around!!!!! WELL, honey, I've got news for you!


In the last six months or so, I have been dare I say "introduced" to the gymnastics of males. No, I'm not talking about any nasty bedroom circus routines; I'm actually referring to kids too when I say males.

I think it started with an extremely unique 6th grade student, who the other kids at my school adoringly call "Starboy". (He himself, prefers to be called Coco, which is the nickname he created for himself, but the story of this and his homeland Cocostan may have to be reserved for another day). My interest in Starboy began when on the third day of school I turned around from writing on the board to find him completely under his desk balancing his body on one kneecap with the other leg arched out at about a 75 degree angle. Since then, he has amazed me with similar antics, my favorite one probably being a stunt at the last school dance where he managed to lower his legs down into the splits position, stopping just inches from the ground so that his mouth was at the right proximity to munch on a giant cupcake that he placed on the floor in front of him for such reason (really probably the funniest thing I have seen in my new adult life).

I could write "Starboy" off as one of those delightful freaks of nature, if it weren't for other recent unrelated events, such as another random 7th grader doing a cartwheel down the hall in his trek from room 801 to 802, or the tantillating observations I've made in the past two weeks while the gym students are forced to dance. I've been very impressed with the flexibility of these boys.

Ok, so some junior high students are minor league acrobats. Apparently, this is not a talent that some owners of the Y chromosome grow out of. I had never known my boyfriend, Mr. Ashley Bennett to be super acrobatic. However, since he's gotten the puppy and I've starting paying more attention to it than him, he's had to result in carrying out puppy-like maneuvers himself in a fetish attempt to regain my eye. The acts have included several somersaults, flips, off the wall jumps, and of course your standard stand on your head upside down move (don't think I've seen Ares do that trick yet).

I guess boys always had the skill, I just never had my eyes completely open to it. Let's remember, everyone, that boys can and are gymnasts too!