Thursday, March 30, 2006
my favorite part of last nite
after several hours of drinking: the guy who bought my drinks the nite before and treated me to steak n shake (a debate over what he really wants) comes over to my apartment only to find keith massaging my feet. needless to say he left within a couple minutes. good thing he didnt come over five mins prior, though, cuz he would have seen an ass massage in the works, and i dont know if i could have made a recovery from that one.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Take a Walk in My Shoes
so today Janell and I were discussing how i had to make an appointment with health services over the toe i impaired while on spring vacation and it led to an interesting question:
just how many foot problems do i have????
so just for ur entertainment value and also b/c im a loser i have decided to make a list of foot problems that i currently have. now mind you, i said current problems, it would be too difficult to come up with a list of all the foot problems i have had in my lifetime. just the broken toes index would take at least a page and a half (altho starting with a fun story of when i was a very hyper four years old i jumped from my parents bed onto the vacuum cleaner--turned out not to be such a good idea) without any further ado, here is the list:
(Red the color of pain)
1. yellow feet syndrome-this happens when it is cold and wet outside and no matter how much insulation my feet are given, they undoubtedly loose circulation, turn yellow and remain numb for up to three hours after spending 10 minutes walking outside.
2. a broken toe (at the bottom) that still hurts to walk on after breaking it over two weeks ago on spring break
3. a huge bump occurring on the same toe (but at the top on the other side) where i stubbed it the next day on the couch. this bump also hurt and last week i went to the free nurse at the student center and she verified it was not a corn but i should go to a real doctor about it
4. a split toenail also from spring break week when i somehow cut it on the refrigerator door. that's right, the refrigerator door. yesterday i spent 10 mins fucking with the nail so that it does not become ingrown
5. the good 'ol stress fracture ive had for awhile now that is the result of 5 years of waitressing. i also have it b/c according to my xrays my fourth toe bone that goes into the foot is slightly thinner then the rest of the bones (this is something genetic. of course our family has great genes when it comes to just about anything u can imagine) and therefore more susceptible to stress.
6. the tendinitis i have in my heel now as a result of changing the way i walk to compensate for the stress fracture. now i just cant walk at all. this is why i had to take 2 weeks off of work at bob's last year and walk on crutches for a day
7. ankle weakness (yes im aware my ankle is not my foot) resulting from the orthopedic inserts i have to wear for my stress fracture. i have to wear them to support my stress fracture but they dont give enough support to the rest of my foot or my ankle. every time i have to walk on hard surface stairs with shoes on, my ankles buckle and i barely make it down without falling. i am supposed to see my podriatrist about this in the summer. when i called the nurse about it, she laughed and said, "o we get that all the time" seriously wtf. it's a good thing my pod is hot as hell (o and i assure u he is-mom always comes with me to google at him)
-on a sidenote that relates to this topic ashley and luke were being assholes last nite asking me why i dont dress up like a girl. which hello id say im fairly girly on the girl spectrum but according to them i should paint my nails, wear lip gloss at all times, and sport high heel type shoes that i can't walk in. well guess what: there is a reason why i only wear tennis shoes. (see above)
just how many foot problems do i have????
so just for ur entertainment value and also b/c im a loser i have decided to make a list of foot problems that i currently have. now mind you, i said current problems, it would be too difficult to come up with a list of all the foot problems i have had in my lifetime. just the broken toes index would take at least a page and a half (altho starting with a fun story of when i was a very hyper four years old i jumped from my parents bed onto the vacuum cleaner--turned out not to be such a good idea) without any further ado, here is the list:
(Red the color of pain)
1. yellow feet syndrome-this happens when it is cold and wet outside and no matter how much insulation my feet are given, they undoubtedly loose circulation, turn yellow and remain numb for up to three hours after spending 10 minutes walking outside.
2. a broken toe (at the bottom) that still hurts to walk on after breaking it over two weeks ago on spring break
3. a huge bump occurring on the same toe (but at the top on the other side) where i stubbed it the next day on the couch. this bump also hurt and last week i went to the free nurse at the student center and she verified it was not a corn but i should go to a real doctor about it
4. a split toenail also from spring break week when i somehow cut it on the refrigerator door. that's right, the refrigerator door. yesterday i spent 10 mins fucking with the nail so that it does not become ingrown
5. the good 'ol stress fracture ive had for awhile now that is the result of 5 years of waitressing. i also have it b/c according to my xrays my fourth toe bone that goes into the foot is slightly thinner then the rest of the bones (this is something genetic. of course our family has great genes when it comes to just about anything u can imagine) and therefore more susceptible to stress.
6. the tendinitis i have in my heel now as a result of changing the way i walk to compensate for the stress fracture. now i just cant walk at all. this is why i had to take 2 weeks off of work at bob's last year and walk on crutches for a day
7. ankle weakness (yes im aware my ankle is not my foot) resulting from the orthopedic inserts i have to wear for my stress fracture. i have to wear them to support my stress fracture but they dont give enough support to the rest of my foot or my ankle. every time i have to walk on hard surface stairs with shoes on, my ankles buckle and i barely make it down without falling. i am supposed to see my podriatrist about this in the summer. when i called the nurse about it, she laughed and said, "o we get that all the time" seriously wtf. it's a good thing my pod is hot as hell (o and i assure u he is-mom always comes with me to google at him)
-on a sidenote that relates to this topic ashley and luke were being assholes last nite asking me why i dont dress up like a girl. which hello id say im fairly girly on the girl spectrum but according to them i should paint my nails, wear lip gloss at all times, and sport high heel type shoes that i can't walk in. well guess what: there is a reason why i only wear tennis shoes. (see above)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
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